Career Coach's blog

I just read Helene's blog post "Be Particularly good To Yourself."  If you've already read it, my question for all of us is, "Did we take action on it?"

Knowing something is good for us isn't enough, we have to act on that knowledge.  Whoever said that "Knowledge is power" was wrong. 

Power is the ability to perform, to make something happen. Knowledge alone will fail every time.

When it comes to treating ourselves well, we need to act on it, not just think about it. Our well-being and happiness depends on it.

Alan Allard, http://www.alanallard.com

I was playing in a tournament tonight and won the final table, largely because I was able to put the other player “on tilt.” That’s a poker term for when a player loses his emotional balance. They get angry or lose their confidence and start making poor decisions.

When we began as the two last players, the other guy had twice as many chips as I did. At one critical point, I bluffed by going all in when I had a poor hand.

When he folded, I did something that I rarely did; I turned over my cards to show my hand. Why? To shake his confidence, and it worked. He told me what hand he had folded, and it was clearly the better hand.

From that point on, I slowly began to take more and more of his chips. He’s a very good player and he started against me with great confidence. Then he lost it to some degree and never regained it. 

Why?  Because he had made one mistake.

It reminded me of how important it is to recover from our mistakes as quickly as possible.

Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes we make big mistakes.

 When we do, it’s good to remind ourselves that “there’s always another hand” to be played.  We can get back in the game and move forward. But to do that successfully requires a clear head and self-confidence.

Both are needed to enjoy playing the game of life or business. Emotional self-control, emotional intelligence, requires perspective. We can put our mistakes or losses in perspective, stay calm and perform at the top of our game.

When we do that, our losses don’t hit us as hard and our success won’t lead to overconfidence.

So, the next time you make a mistake, don’t go “on tilt.” Learn from the mistake, gain perspective and move on.

Alan Allard, http://www.alanallard.com

When I was a teenager, I read my first self-improvement" book.  Your Greatest Power by J. Martin Kohe.  He revealed to my eager mind that the greatest power available to all, is our power of choice. The book began my quest to understand personal motivation and human nature.

Whether you agree with Kohe or not, you probably would like to improve your life in some way.

Take a moment now, or later, and identify something in your life that you've tried to change or improve, but haven't yet. It could be losing weight, starting your own business, writing a book or exercising regularly.

How can you get from "not succeeding yet" to success?  What would put the odds in your favor?

Here's a suggestion.  Get involved in a "Mastermind Group." If you are not familiar with the term, it is a group of 2 to 6 or so people who are committed to each other's success.

Meet once a week or at whatever interval that works for the group.  Share your dreams and goals with each other each week.

Discuss the progress each one has made and what obstacles or setbacks each one has experienced.

Alan Allard  www.alanallard.com

A company called me last year for help with a regional manager. Seems he was "too hard on his people" and retention was a problem. After a brief talk with the Director of Employee Developement about coaching this manager, he said, "We've done everything we can to turn this guy around. He's very valuable to us, but we might have to fire him if he doesn't learn how to lead his people differently."

Then,he said something very interesting:  "This has been going on for three and a half years. I'm assuming it could take quite a while to get our guy turned around. And maybe it's just not going to work."

I thought for a few seconds and said, "Well, a couple of things to keep in mind. I have  very little information here and I haven't talked to your guy. For now, lets assume he wants to change and that the solutions are going to be simple, not complicated."

The bottom line is that the Regional Manager treated everybody the same, regardless of their different personality styles. He talked to them and interacted with them according to his personality style, not theirs.

Long story short, in three short months, he turned his team around.

How was that possible? Here are two reasons:

• He really wanted to change both his mindset and his behavior
• He learned about different personality styles and how to adjust his behavior and communication to fit the person he was with at any given time.

We can change quicker than what most people realize. But, we have to really want to, and we have to know how.

If you are interested in learning more about personality styles and how to be more effective with those around you, at home and at work, here's a suggestion.

Read Personality Styles At Work by by Bolton and Bolton. They are a husband and wife team and have written a supurb book on the subject.

If you read it, stop by and let us know what you think.

Alan Allard, http://www.alanallard.com

If you want to succeed in your career, you have to do good work...really good work! Your work has to be noticed and respected. And for this to happen, you have to have at least three things:

Strengths: We all have them. Have you identified what you're naturally good at?

Environment: Are you in an environment that nurtures not only your strengths, but also your core values? Do your boss and co-workers support you and bring out the best in you?

Passion: Are you playing to win, or playing not to lose? Passion always precedes great work.

Now, here's where the first two keys matter...a lot. How can you play to win if you're not playing from your strengths or if you're not in a work environment that nurtures you? You can't.

But what if you haven't identified your strengths, aren't in an environment that supports you, and your work isn't fueled by passion...what then?

Announcing your resignation today isn't the answer (Whew!) Until you get the three keys aligned, here's a suggestion. Resolve to do what you're doing now, where you are now, with all the passion you can. Take pride in what you do.

Do what you do and do it well. Aim to be the best at what you're doing now even if you don't love it. If you go to work with that mindset and work from it, your boss will notice. Things won't be perfect, but they'll be much better.

Take that momentum and make a plan to find work that allows you to play from your strengths, in the right environment, doing what you're passionate about. Then, bring your plan to life!

Alan Allard: http://www.alanallard.com

Now, more than ever, we need to make a difference at work. Although the recession, is showing signs of recovery, it isn’t over yet.  Take advantage of that!  Challenging times are the best times to prove your value and to get the attention of those who can help your career. Why? Because while so many are focusing on problems and their perceived lack of opportunity, you can do the opposite.

Here are three things you can do to shine at work.

• Act Like the President or CEO  Getting an MBA might excelerate your career, but an MBA isn't for everyone.What is for everyone (though few will take it on) is taking initiative and responsibility for making things happen. Do this and you will be noticed.  Do this well and you will shine like a star.

• Focus On Your Strengths If you haven’t read  “Now, Discover Your Strengths” by Marcus Buckingham, do so as soon as you can. Do you really know what your strengths are? Few do. Discover yours, put them into play at work, and your work will be more like play.

• Help Your Boss Be A Star If you have a great boss, or even a good one, helping her or him to be a star will pay rich dividends. Anticipate what she needs and wants and deliver that. Be the person she thinks of first when she thinks of loyalty, initiative and guaranteed results. Your star will shine brighter by helping your boss to shine. You can be a star at work if it’s important to you. Think about these three strategies every day for a month, act on them and see what happens. Odds are, you’ll be well on your way to being that star at work that you can be.

If you want to be more successful in any area of your life, here's a tip: begin by paying close attention to your self-talk. 

We all have "failures."  No big deal.  Do you talk to yourself in a way that revs your internal engine up or shuts it down? Spend even one day paying close attention to how you talk to yourself.

Journal during the day what thoughts run through your head.  What are you saying to yourself about a challenge you're dealing with, about a recent setback, about your relationships, about your hopes and dreams? Are you fueling the success you want in your life? Would you say things to your best friend that you say to yourself? If not, make some adjustments.

You spend more time with yourself, by far, than with anybody else. What you say to yourself and how you say it matters.  You only have one life, why not use self-talk to fuel success!

Alter your self-talk and you will alter your life. 

Alan Allard, Principal, Genius Dynamics, www.alanallard.com

When my birthday arrives, I find myself reflecting over the past year.  What did I accomplish, who did I meet, where did I go, or what did I learn?  But more importantly, who did I help?  My beloved mother demonstrated by her example the generous spirit of reaching out and helping others.  Just yesterday while visiting an elderly woman in a nursing home, I hear the constant cries from a room across the hall.  I was drawn to the room to calm the fears of another elderly woman who had only been brought in a few days earlier.  As I sat on her bed holding her hand, I asked her questions about her life.

Her tears became smiles as she told me she was scared to be in the nursing home.  Her mind was sharp yet her body was broken down from the years of wear and tear on a body of living. Kindness is a gift we all have to share.  It only takes a moment to reach out to someone in need of a little human attention.  When was the last time, you took time to show a little kindness?

Carol Kivler, CSP
Kivler Communications

We show up in a variety of places throughout the day—work, our child’s school, the market, or even the post office.  Are you projecting the image you want others to see? As a business owner, I have learned to network no matter where I find myself on any given day.  When I keep in mind that I am the CEO of ME, it reminds me to look and act accordingly. 

Just yesterday, I met a colleague who I haven’t seen in years while waiting in line at the bank.  We engaged in light conversation and pleasantries.  As we were leaving, my colleague mentioned, “Your business must be doing well, you look terrific.” People do take notice of the image you project. How do you project a CEO image?

Carol Kivler

Kivler Communications

Change is inevitable and constant; therefore, becoming a change agent is a goal we should each aspire to achieve.  Unfortunately, it is human nature to resist or even resent change.  Think about it—do you travel to work the same route or sit in the same seat on the train (or close by) each day.  When you visit the grocery store, do you basically purchase the same items each week?  What about dining at the same eatery and ordering the same entrée?

Stepping out of your comfort zone and becoming more flexible by trying a new route, purchasing an unfamiliar item at the market, or even ordering a new entrée at your favorite restaurant are first steps to assist you in embracing change.  Embracing change in your personal life can make dealing with change at work that much easier.

Also, treating each change as an adventure keeps your mood and attitude in a positive frame of mind.  Reacting negatively to a change causes you to expend double the energy ultimately leaving your depleted and exhausted—not exactly a place of success.

Remember, during times of change our stress level rises contributing to our vulnerability to illness.  In stress management we tap into either the flight or flee response.  However, there is a third option to consider when dealing with change.  The third option is flow—indicating that if you can’t fight or flee—flow.  Flow through the change with the adage that “this to shall pass.”  How do you handle change?

                                                                                                Carol Kivler, CSP

Kivler Communications