In her roll as a business and life coach, Jodi has come to realize that when taking career risks, people are afraid to break rules that are self-installed. Instead of bounding fearlessly into the unknown, we hover cautiously and make up rules that keep us safe, which are often just an illusion anyway. So what do you do when your own rules are the ones bogging you down? Here are Jodi's tips to create change:


Take note of when your rules are choosing for you.
Consider their cost. How many compromises are you willing to make in the name of staying comfortable and safe? Begin to notice when your rules cheat you out of rich and rewarding experiences and juicy growth opportunities.

Identify common "Rule Traps."

Three circumstances in which we make up rules:

- "Stuck." Stuck is nothing more than choice resistance. When we don't like any of the choices in front of us, we don't choose. And when we're offered a variety of wonderful choices, we often become frightened to pick just one. In both scenarios, we're falling prey to the made up rule that we have to pick the "right" choice.

- "Intimidated." Ultimately, these rules are trying to protect us from the pains of rejection, yet the sad truth is that when we allow these rules to choose for us, they also keep us from getting what we want—a healthy, thriving business.

- "Overwhelmed." The rule of "more" can be paralyzing because from where we stand, it seems insurmountable. From the "perfectionist/do-it-yourself" perspective, it is very easy to make up that we have to do it all. And that we have to do it all exceptionally well. Oh, and that we have to do it all, exceptionally well, and on our own.

Put yourself on a strict diet of rule breaking.

- When "stuck" is the diagnosis, take some action. Any action will do. The point is to move. Trust your instincts and know that you can negotiate whatever comes next.

- To break the "intimidated" rule, ask yourself, "What would I do if I didn't know any better? What would I do if it never occurred to me to be scared or intimidated or anxious?"

- When "overwhelmed," shift your perspective and look at the issue from a completely new perspective. Shift to the "Fortune 500 CEO," "High Priestess," or "Oprah" perspective. What do you notice? From this new perspective, what becomes available to you that wasn't in your original view?

Apply the "Magic Rule."

All behaviors are generated from beliefs, and those behaviors create corresponding results. The magic rule is to replace old rules with supportive beliefs that reinforce result-producing behavior. For instance, if you believe a certain client would never hire you (belief), you won't likely pursue them with much confidence (behavior). Therefore, it is unlikely that you will have any clients that fit that profile (results), and your belief that they would not be interested in you will be fortified (reinforcement).

But the real power of this rule becomes yours when you use this system to create new beliefs that support you. Begin by clarifying the results you want to create. Consider what behaviors would generate those results, and what belief would initiate those behaviors. "I want a technically-oriented client to build my repertoire (result). If we establish these resources (behaviors), they will see us as a valuable asset (belief)."

Finally, consciously act as if you had that new belief ("We are a valuable asset"). Before you know it, you'll have built tremendous momentum in your new direction.


Adapted from The Spirit of Women Entrepreneurs: Real Life Stories of Determination, Prosperity & Growth, compiled by Ginny Robertson.