Have you ever thought to yourself that a couple you met were perfect together and then suddenly heard of their demise? It can be a cause for concern to think that even when you are in a strong relationship things can shift downhill at any moment. Every relationship has ups and downs, but it’s best to know how to approach the “downs” to keep your relationship intact. When couples resolve issues properly, it strengthens the relationship even more. Here are 10 things that destroy the strongest relationships and what you can do:
When you start disagreeing on intimacy
Sometimes things start out great and you both are on the same page when it comes to being intimate. It can be straining on any relationship when one person feels less desire to be intimate. It can cause resentment and leave one person feeling undesired. Sometimes there are underlying reasons for a sudden change in one’s sex drive and it’s best to be open and communicate to resolve the issue.
You’re bottling up emotions
Sometimes during small arguments, you find it easier to just stay quiet and not make a big deal out of it. The problem with this is all those emotions will build up and you may become filled with resentment toward your partner. It’s always better to discuss issues no matter how big or small in a calm and respectable manner.
You take each other for granted
You both are committed so you may feel like you don’t have to put in as much effort. The things you did for each other at the beginning that made you fall in love will also be the things that keep your relationship strong. It is the little gestures, the “thank you’s”, and compliments that are sometimes missed down the line. Keep them going!
You’re losing your identity
Sometimes in a couple’s bliss, they want to be with each other all the time. But when this happens some tend to lose themselves or weaken relationships with other friends. It might not be an issue at first, but when some couples emerge from the honeymoon phase this issue can cause even some of the strongest relationships to crumble. It’s best to keep a sense of self in your relationship. Not just for you, but for your partner, and your relationship.
You began skipping out on dates
You have become so comfortable with one another that you spend most of your time on the couch together in pajamas. (With quarantine still in effect for many this is understandable at the current moment.) There are always ways to mix it up and keep the romance alive! If you don’t have any more dinner dates or nights out dancing, someone is likely going to get bored. If you are practicing social distancing, come up with some creative at-home dates for each other. Even if you are in different locations try to set aside at least one night a week to do something special together.
Someone is being condescending
This used to not be an issue, but all a sudden someone feels superior and makes it known. Rude “teacher-like” comments and belittling a partner is not healthy. It might be something one person puts up with for a while, but eventually, they’re likely to be fed up. If something is bothering you, it’s best to try to understand where that anger is coming from before snapping at the other person.
Someone broke the trust
All it can take is one lie, one kiss with a stranger, or one flirty text with a co-worker to turn a relationship upside down. Honesty is always the best policy. If you’re feeling unfulfilled it’s better to be upfront and either work through it or walk away.
You hold grudges
It’s perfectly normal to have arguments and disagreements. Once you’ve talked through something that upset you it’s best to let it go. If you begin feeling anger again over something that happened two months ago, try to remember what conclusion you both came to. Was there an apology? Have things improved? Don’t just immediately start giving your partner the cold shoulder over issues you already “resolved”.
You are more negative than positive
When one person is constantly complaining it can cause a shift in the mood of the people around them. If you feel like you may have been extra negative lately, try to see how your partner is acting. Has their mood changed? Do they seem more frustrated or sad? Tell them what’s causing your negative thoughts, apologize, and try to find a solution together.
You’re both on different pages about life goals
Sometimes people change. If things that once made a future between you seem possible has changed, it might be time to reevaluate. It could be anything from a decision to change career paths to not wanting children. It should be discussed and sometimes it is best to walk away when this is the case.
Disclaimer: This article is in part the opinion of the author.
