You have probably read about the most common fears but how do we face them so that they don’t hold us back. How do we “feel the fear and do it anyway?”
Fear of letting people in
Whether it is a romantic love that’s gone sour, a friend who was intrusive, a co-worker that has burned you–we’ve all been hurt, and it is hard to get back on the horse. But what is the alternative? Being alone and not getting the things you really want. That just doesn’t cut it.
Helpful Hint: Surround yourself with like-minded people. They are your personal network—people who care about your well-being. If you decide to get your feet wet again, and something doesn’t feel right, confide in them and see what they think. They have your best interest at heart.
Fear of change
Change is scary because it is unknown. You feel comfortable where you are, why would you want to risk messing that up? Something could go wrong and you could end up in a worse situation than you are currently in. Sometimes we cling to staying stuck because it feels safer than getting out there.
Helpful Hint: Know that when you step out of your comfort zone and try something different, it will not feel comfortable. But that doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong. In fact, you are doing everything right! You are pushing yourself to grow in new ways.
Fear of success
This type of fear may seem strange, and you may ask yourself—we all want to succeed, why would someone be afraid of getting what they want? Some of us may have been raised by parents who were unhappy themselves and projected onto us that we wouldn’t “amount to much,” so when we start to achieve some level of success, we may try to sabotage it.
Helpful Hint: Reach out for help (a therapist or counselor) and get clear where your feelings of worthiness come from. They probably have nothing to do with you and everything to do with an unhappy person that was part of your life early on. Reaffirm that you deserve success.
