Most of us have had past relationships which seem to hang on, and on, and on…and on. Although we’ve broken up, and said goodbye, there are still their ghosts in our closets. Whether we’ve broken up with them, or they’ve broken up with us, there’s something still incomplete. How do we finish it up so they stop haunting us?
Get clear
When they contact you, whether it’s in person, on the phone, via text, or on social media, don’t encourage them. In fact, if you’re angry and you don’t want it to persist, either ignore them or state what’s true for you in short, clear sentences.
Look inside
Is there something you’ve left unspoken that needs to be said? Don’t expect yourself not to feel hurt or angry. If you were close at one time, you’ll probably feel the pang. But, there’s a reason it ended, and call that to mind when they pop in your head or try to connect with you.
Know you deserve better
Since the relationship, you’ve grown. Own that. Take the good from your connection with that person and own where you are now. How have you changed as a result of the challenges you faced in that relationship? Give yourself credit.
Let go of resentment
It’s normal to feel resentful for a while, but there comes a time when you need to stop churning on the anger. It’s a killer, and will stop you from moving on and creating something better for yourself.
Get busy in life
Don’t leave a lot of room to obsess over the past. It’s easier sometimes to sit back and regret rather than to face the fear of the unknown and move out of your comfort zone. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Focus on your career, spend time with friends, or try a new hobby, and soon you won’t even have time to think about your awful ex.
