If you want to ace your performance reviews, get a raise or promotion, or be noticed, you have to be impressive. Average work might allow you to keep your job, but it won’t give you the opportunities to grow and to be noticed. Here are four ways to be impressive…
Alan Allard
Executive Coach
Alan Allard is a former psychotherapist, and for the past nine years he has worked as a consultant, executive coach, speaker, trainer and life coach. You can learn more about Alan on his website: alanallard.com
Entries Alan Allard
More and more employees feel stretched to their limits and even overwhelmed at times. When you factor in the commute to and from work, some late nights and packed weekends, it’s challenging to get it all done. Here are three tips for when you’re feeling the pressure rising: Work on…
Many successful people have achieved great things despite dealing with self-doubt and insecurities about their capabilities. That may sound crazy, but it’s true. There’s even a term for it: Imposter Syndrome. So yes, you can do great things without great confidence, but I wouldn’t recommend that and I doubt you…
“You've got to know when to hold 'em, Know when to fold 'em, Know when to walk away, and know when to run.” These are the famous lines from the Kenny Rogers song The Gambler. We know the advice is good--sometimes you need to walk away. But what about the…
Bruce was flattered when a former boss called him up a year ago to recruit him to his new company. His boss went on and on about how fortunate he would be to have Bruce and how much he needed him. In his former role he and his boss worked…
Wouldn’t life be great if everyone treated you with the respect you deserve? That would be wonderful, but we all know that’s not going to happen. The fact is, there are some people are who are arrogant and don’t really care about treating you with respect. If you have someone…
Do you ever find yourself overthinking some things and not taking action? That used to be me more than I wanted to admit. Whether we call it perfectionism or simply procrastination, overthinking stops us from achieving what we’re capable of. If you want a little less thinking and more action,…
Everybody has somebody in their family or someone at work that’s difficult to be around. I’m talking about those who are bullies, gossips, drama queens/kings, passive-aggressive, or the know-it-all person. They are the ones who talk over you in meetings, hijack your vacation story to one-up you, or belittle you…
We all want positive feedback and compliments from workmates, friends and family, that’s human nature. We’re wired to be social and we need to connect with those around us. But that doesn’t mean everyone feels comfortable when getting what they want—that compliment and positive feedback. If we’re feeling…
If you’re reading this it’s because you are one of millions of people who dread going to work on Monday. The good news is you’re not alone. The bad news is you’re in a tough situation that takes a clear mind to fix. How do you know if you should…
What do networking events, business conferences, or the office party all have in common? They’re all full of people and an opportunity for you to not only build relationships and further your career; they’re also a source of anxiety and even misery for millions of introverts. One client told me…
Decades ago, you might have done fine at work by following the advice,” Keep your head down and do good work.” Today, even if you do good work you’ll barely be noticed—but if you “keep your head down,” no one will even know you’re there. This isn’t about showboating—it’s about…
If you allow yourself to be consistently interrupted, you’ll never be taken seriously. And if you’re not taken seriously you won’t advance in your career—no matter how smart or talented you are. You have to speak up, share your ideas, verbalize your concerns and be heard. But don’t expect others…
How do you react to subtle but demeaning behavior at work? It could be someone rolling their eyes at you, checking their texts when you're talking to them, or a senior manager taking more questions from the men in the group and discounting the women. Instead of tolerating such behavior,…
Somewhere in the growing up process we learn to criticize ourselves, to be hard on ourselves, and to even berate ourselves. Some do it less, some more—but unless your parents were perfect, it’s likely you developed what has been called your “inner critic.” One minute you’re feeling proud of yourself…
Being a confident woman isn’t about perfection. It’s about learning and embracing your true self in all its imperfections. As you read through the four lessons, give yourself credit and support for the progress you’ve made in your own life and the lessons you’ve learned. Being “nice” is over-rated Being…
Strong women have the ability to deal with obstacles and to bounce back from their setbacks. Their resilience didn’t come from the easy times they’ve had, but from the hard times. They developed their grit and tenacity by facing their challenges and figuring out how to make the most of…
It’s been said that your talent, experience and I.Q. might get you into a job, but if you want to do well, you need more than that. In his 1996 book, Emotional Intelligence, Dr. Daniel Goleman explained the “more than that” had to do with being self-aware, managing your emotions,…
Even the best of relationships can be challenging at times. But when you’re dealing with a manipulator, you’re dealing with toxic behaviors. They can push your buttons and be gone before you know what’s happening. What can you do? Perhaps more than you might think. What You Need to Know…
We love to see the excitement and drama of competition. Whether it’s in the sports arena, the world of business or during family board games, we seem to love to compete. But does “competing” with others have a dark side where there are no real winners? My experience as a…
We know that no one can really make us feel angry, intimidated or crazy. We do that to ourselves by thinking people should be the way we want them to be. However, in the spirit of the title of this post, here are ten things people say that can be…
Shame is that feeling you have when you feel you don’t deserve to feel good about yourself. It’s the feeling you have when you think you’re damaged, flawed or broken in some way as a human being. If the shame is deep enough, you fear you will never measure up.…
It’s been said that it takes a long time to develop a good reputation but only seconds to destroy it. That can happen when we say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Whether it’s in person, on the phone, via email, or on social media, there are some times…
Dealing with an angry person is difficult for most people. That makes sense—after all, where do you go to school to learn how to respond to someone else’s anger? So what do you do with someone who is making you the target of their inappropriately- expressed anger? Here are five…
Einstein said, “If we did all the things we were capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.” While almost all of us (except perhaps the diehard cynic!) would agree with Dr. Einstein, there are times we get stuck and believe, “I’ve done everything I can and nothing changes.” But what…
I have a client who worked hard to get her dream job. She networked, learned how to ace her interviews, and she turned down three opportunities that were great, but not great for her. She was patient, persistent and optimistic. She did in fact get her dream job and she…
If you’re reading this, it’s likely you’re under the kind of stress you’d just love to get rid of. If what you’re dealing with is overloading your skills and resources, it can feel like a weight pulling you down and draining your strength. Here are three things to you need…
I’ve dealt with a few phonies in my life and you probably have as well. Unless you are equipped to deal with them, they can be frustrating at best, and at worst they can wreak havoc in your life. Phonies can run the gamut of being gossips, liars, backstabbers, fair-weather…
Do you know of someone who always seems to get what they want? Things go their way most of the time--and even when they run into obstacles, they find a way around them. I can’t give you a formula for always getting what you want, every single time. But I…
Two weeks ago a friend called me on his way home. He wanted to leave his job so much he was literally dreaming about it at night. If you’re feeling a lot of empathy for him it’s likely you’re feeling the same way about your job or you have felt…
The problem with saying the wrong thing to your boss is that you can never undo it. Here are four things you should keep to yourself: An automatic "No." When your boss asks you to take on a new responsibility or puts something else on your overflowing plate, never say "No." At least,…
When someone has an opinion about us, we may think it is the truth. But is it? We need to be the final judge. Be responsible. By taking it on as if it's true, we may distort what is really happening. The judgment may be more about the person giving it, than you.…
Here’s the thing about being a confident woman. Everyone tells you to be one, but when you are, they don’t like it so much! However, if you're a confident woman, that's their problem. Confident women may have made the mistake in the past of abandoning their confidence to please others,…
I have a colleague who makes an incredible impression, not only the first time, but time and time again. JoAnn is one of the masters when it comes to connecting with others and standing out from the crowd. My wife is the same way. I’m constantly amazed at how quickly…
I can’t tell you how many times my female clients have told me they don’t feel comfortable showing their true emotions in the workplace. They don’t want to be perceived as being unprofessional or accused of being manipulative, weak, or intellectually inferior. Being emotional at work can be uncomfortable for…
I don’t know of anyone who isn’t facing some kind of challenge. Our big challenges (and even the smaller ones) can overpower and control us, if we let them. However, we can rise above our challenges with the right mindset. I know this because as a former psychotherapist and now…
If you’re human, you’ve experienced the feeling of shame in your life. It might have been in your family, at work, or from a friend trying to guilt you out in order to get you to do what they wanted you to do. Shame is that horrible feeling of “There’s…
Let me tell you about Susan. She represents many clients I’ve had over the years who have all told me in one way or another: “All my life I feel people have been telling me to tone it down or just shut up.” The thing is, Susan is a strong…
In my last post we looked at dealing with passive-aggressive people. Today, we're going to talk about how to deal with an angry person. In this post, I’m using "anger" to refer to toxic anger where the angry person is blaming, shaming, attacking, or dumping on you. Instead of owning…
One of the most popular workshop topics in the corporate world is about dealing with “difficult people.” Of course, in these workshops everyone wants to know, “How in the world do I handle my passive-aggressive co-worker or family member?” I bet you have had your fair share of experiences dealing…
If you wake up most mornings dreading going to work, it’s time to do something about it. But what do you do when every time you think about changing jobs, your fears stop you before you even begin? Here are four questions that might be the answer to your fears:…
What is happiness? In my book I define “enlightened happiness” as feeling positive energy about yourself and your life—or feeling positive energy about the progress you’re making in either area. The thing about happiness is that we can’t take it for granted and expect it to magically appear. Happiness is…
When it comes to happiness I believe we need to make it a top priority. However, we also need to turn our attention to the things that lead to happiness. In a way, happiness is a byproduct of other things. One of those things is self-confidence. Self-confidence is necessary for…
A friend called me this week and he was in a surprisingly good mood. Surprising because earlier that day he hit an ice patch while driving through his neighborhood and then plowed into a stationary car. The good news was no one was hurt at all. The better news is…
I talked to a friend yesterday who was excited about his job. Afterward, I realized that much of what he said centered around what a great manager he had. It's impossible to exaggerate how critical a good leader is when compared to a bad leader. Because everything rises and falls…
If anything is true in life it's that relationships can be challenging at times. For many people, one of the biggest challenges is dealing with someone who aggressively pushes you to do what they want, even if it’s not in your best interest. If you find yourself in that situation,…
The VP of business development laughs at your suggestions in team meetings. He consistently interrupts you and throws you off balance. Lately, he’s been giving you assignments that everyone knows is “busy work.” You’ve been feeling confused, angry, and powerless. These are all common reactions to bullying. This goes beyond…
We all know at least one person who seems incapable of taking “No” for an answer. Despite your best efforts to set boundaries with them, they just keep crossing the line. That person might be a co-worker, a friend, or a family member. Whatever role they play in your life,…
My client Drew had been a star in his company for five years. That all changed when he got a new boss who seemed determined to undermine him anyway he could. If you were in that situation, how stressful would it be for you? You might think that’s a ridiculous…
A CEO of a start-up sat in my office to talk about the relationship with a key team member that had “turned bad." He told me this person “was creating unbelievable stress for everyone.” Yet another client was on the phone with me several months ago telling me his…
It’s no secret a lot of companies are struggling when it comes to keeping their employees happy and engaged. A disturbing number of employees (at all levels in the company) are thinking about looking for a new job or they’re already looking and interviewing. If you’re even thinking about leaving…
If you want to be a leader, you have to ask yourself, “Why should anyone listen to me and follow my lead?” If that question sounds harsh, you’re not thinking like a leader. Leaders know intuitively (or they’ve learned the hard way) that people follow them because they feel it’s…
Here are five signs it might be time for a new job: Your boss is abusive If you’re wondering if your boss is abusive, that’s likely a sign he or she is. If your boss is abusive (verbally, mentally, physically or sexually) I wouldn’t count on it changing. By all…
When Katy walks into the school where she works as a custodian, her coworkers can feel her positive energy. Katy doesn’t command a high salary, a prestigious title or position of authority—but she does come to work in charge of herself and her attitude. Katy recently told me, “If I…
Jamie is a student I coach. She's a high school Spanish teacher and an outstanding professional. However, she’s not at the top of her game because she had it easy. Her first three years as an educator were grueling in many ways. Jamie had long hours, dealt with challenging students…
Life can easily become one drama after another, but we get so used to it that it feels normal. We see the drama in the lives of those “crazy” reality T.V. stars and wonder how they can live that way. The answer is: they live with their drama the same…
Amy* had been a client for four months when she told me she was thinking of getting another coach. When I asked what was on her mind and she said, “You’re too easy on me! I want you to challenge me more.” You’d think a coach would love to hear…
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella is taking a lot of heat for his recent career advice to 10,000 women at the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing Conference. He was asked how women who are uncomfortable asking for a raise should go about it. Here is Mr. Nadella’s reply: “It’s…
A couple of days ago, Bob* called me and I could hear the excitement in his voice. He had been unemployed for a year after finishing college and had just found his first job. That year had been a trying time for Bob, however, he kept networking, going to interviews…
When I work with senior managers on the topics of collaboration, teamwork and communication, there is almost always at least one “elephant in the room” they need to face. Executives are usually very smart, driven and highly skilled—as far as the technical aspects of their work go. They can talk…
Every company has them and most teams have at least one. Families often have one as well. You know what I’m talking about; the employee or family member that makes you want to walk the other way when you see them coming. Instead of complaining about the difficult person in…
Women who are assertive are sometimes accused of being aggressive. So we may feel pressure to back down or “people-please” instead of saying what’s on our mind. When the issue is important, here are some ways of pressing on, no matter what. Heed Alan Allard's suggestions. Stand your ground. If…
If you’re human, you’re going to get angry at times. The question is, what do you do about it? Do you explode? Or do you communicate clearly? Here are four tips to help you effectively handle your anger. Own your anger: If you feel guilty for being angry, you will try to…
In my last blog post, we looked at three tips to help you become a better communicator. Ironically enough, the very next day, I was reminded again that knowing how to communicate like a pro isn’t enough—we have to actually use what we know. I was reminded of this yesterday…
You might have the best supervisor or manager in the world. However, most employees have supervisors or managers who were given minimal or no training on how to manage, coach and lead their team. That means that your manager might be assuming you know what they want and need from…
Employees across the globe are disillusioned, de-motivated and disengaged—and many of them are thinking, “If I were the leader, things would be different.” Maybe so, but let’s investigate what your manager might have to say: “My job is tougher than you think.” You might think your manager has it made.…
Stephen R. Covey, Ph.D wrote The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People in 1989 and it became an instant hit. Let's take a look at the fifth habit, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” To make this practical, think about someone you have been frustrated with; perhaps your…
For many of us, the very thought of “promoting ourselves” at work brings up some level of discomfort. The emotions we feel could be fear, or even shame (we may have been brought up not to brag). It’s okay if someone else touts our achievements or strengths, but if we…
It’s natural to think of what you want from your company or—after all, you work hard and are a valued employee. But your manager is also thinking of what they need from you. Keep these four things top of mind and you'll know what they want: Solutions: Never take a…
Many of us tend to undermine the power ofpolitics at work. We tell ourselves that we simply will not give in to it. But choosing not to abide by these informal rules won’t change how things work. You can say it’s “Not fair” and accuse a colleague or two of…
Whether it’s at work or in life, when things go wrong, most of us want to take charge and fix things. However, in my work as a consultant and coach (and as a former psychotherapist) I’ve found that while we think we’re taking responsibility, often we’re actually blaming ourselves. The…
We all want to know how to deal with the things we hope will never happen to us – like losing a job, facing a serious healthy crisis, or dealing with the end of a relationship. Or perhaps it’s depression that never seems to go away or anxiety that comes out…
I have a question, and I’d like a show of hands (even if they are virtual): How many of you would like to be a leader? And would you like to have all that goes with it—the title, prestige, increase in salary—and the perks? My guess is there are a…
Last week, a coaching colleague of mine slipped this into a conversation we were having about life: “Success doesn’t buy you happiness.” True enough. I’ve had clients who had jobs they loved and who were paid quite well, clients who had power and influence and clients who were successful…
Dale Carnegie wrote How to Win Friends and Influence People 76 years ago. While terms like “soft skills” and “emotional intelligence” were not yet part of the conversation, the associated concepts certainly were. Then and now, we are told that in order to be successful, we must develop an ability…
All other things being equal, happy employees make for higher productivity. When leaders help their employees in the happiness department, they reap the investment in the bottom line. Employees who are happy with their environments and the nature of their work have less conflict and are willing to give more…
I recently watched an interview with Rory McIlroy, one of the world's top professional golfers. I'm sure it won't surprise you to know that Rory has a coach—one who helps him not only with the physical aspects of the sport, but also with the psychological aspects of winning. In sports,…
If you have an outstanding manager, consider yourself lucky. Most managers are good, but very few are outstanding. An outstanding manager is someone with a truly incredible base of technical knowledge in his or her field—someone who is capable of consistently getting the best out of his or her team.…
It’s 11pm on a Sunday night as I write this, and I’m out on my deck working. Earlier today, I spoke at an event in Atlanta about how to motivate employees to a higher level of performance. I love my job, and it barely even occurred to me until now…
I talked to a client this week who is coming up on his second year with his current company. “Jim” hasn’t had a performance review or a raise yet, and he is frustrated. What about you? When was the last time you received a real raise? If it’s been a…
Sam, a regional operations manager is feeling the stress and pressure of his new responsbilities. He had plenty on his plate before his boss gave him even more to do but he wasn't exactly given the option to say no. Now, only two months into his new work load, he…
A client of mine was just promoted among two other internal candidates. When I asked her why she though she was promoted over her colleagues and what advice she had for others wanting to get ahead at work, here is what she said: I Love My Work and it shows. Jackie…
Most people will admit to having more potential than their lives show. They know on some level that they are far more capable than they have been giving themselves credit for. They know they have something "bigger" to offfer the world but maybe they haven't quite figured out what it…
A manager I coach came into our last session and he was obviously frustrated. "Bob" had someone on his team that was a chronic complainer. Bob had lost his cool with him and said some things he wished he hadn't. Now Bob has two problems to deal with: the complainer…
When it comes to moving forward in your career and life, mindset is everything. Some people play to win and some people play not to lose — guess who wins more often and who gets the bigger payoffs? One of the most common mistakes made by employees today is that…
Employee satisfaction, engagement, and loyalty has taken a sharp downturn in the past couple of years. We are in what has been called a "jobless recovery" and many are in panic mode or close to it. What about you? How are you feeling about your company, your job, and your…
If you find yourself working longer hours, doing work former colleagues used to be responsible for, dealing with a less than stellar boss or colleague, worried about being laid off or stressing about something else at work, you are not alone. More and more employees are experiencing new levels of…
Over the past twenty plus years I've coached executives and managers and have presented seminars to them on leadership and performance improvement. I've learned a lot from them and want to share a few secrets with you. Here are three things you need to know about your boss that will…
At work, everyone admires the movers and shakers, the ones who get things done and get others moving. Movers and shakers have the power to influence everyone around them, below them and even above them. They're the ones who steer the conversations in the conference room, change their boss's mind…
A "Happiness Vampire" is someone who complains, whines about their circumstances and who is, more often than not, just plain negative and pessimistic. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell you this: Spend enough time with me and you'll hear me complaining or whining every once…
Now, more than ever, we need to make a difference at work. Although the recession, is showing signs of recovery, it isn’t over yet. Take advantage of that! Challenging times are the best times to prove your value and to get the attention of those who can help your career.…
