Historically, women have been misunderstood by some for living on their own, paving their own way, or doing things differently than societal norms. Even though we’ve made huge progress, there’s still a lot of work to be done. Independent women are often misunderstood and people say a lot of things that can become annoying after a while…
You should date so-and-so
If you’re independent and single, this comes up a lot. Everyone seems to know someone they can set you up with, or they can’t understand why you’re not interested in dating one of your friends or that really friend of a friend. Dating can be hard, and maybe we don’t want that responsibility right now. Let us just enjoy being on our own.
When are you going to have kids?
Whether you’re single, married, or in a relationship, people love to ask about your biological clock. It’s no one’s business! Some women don’t want kids (gasp), and others do want kids, but just aren’t ready yet. Others may even be struggling with infertility. No matter our reason for not having kids, we shouldn’t be expected to answer this question.
It’s great that you want to focus on your career
This feels like a backhanded compliment; like the person saying it thinks a career is a backup plan and that there’s something more we should be doing with our lives. We don’t need validation that we’re making good life choices.
It’s fine that you’re not married yet, you have plenty of time
This is another phrase single women often hear. We don’t have to get married by a certain age. In fact, we don’t have to get married at all if we don’t want to. We shouldn’t rush into marriage because we feel like we have to meet a deadline. If you find someone you want to spend your life with and choose to get married, that’s wonderful! It’s also wonderful if you choose not to get married, or stay single for the rest of your life.
You don’t have to do everything yourself, you know
It’s not that we don’t need, want, or appreciate help, we’re just used to doing things on our own. If someone offers assistance, we’ll be grateful, but not if it’s done in a condescending way.
Are you going to move closer to your family?
If you moved away from home to pursue your career, you probably did so knowing your world would change. It isn’t a bad thing to leave your loved ones. If you can build a better or more enjoyable life for yourself, you should do it…without feeling guilty.
You have a monthly budget?!
Yes, we manage our own money. We work hard for what we have, and we like to make sure our bills are paid, the necessities are covered, and, if we’re fortunate enough to have some extra cash, we decide the appropriate way to spend or invest it.
