No one likes to feel spent, empty, or incomplete. In fact, that feeling can be a great source of discomfort. Usually, it signals that we have given too much of ourselves to others, we suffered some kind of loss, or we never received the nurturing that would have made us feel whole. We may try to fill the void in inappropriate ways—with food, sex, spending beyond our means—all of these may give us a feeling of temporary elation, but they will probably leave us feeling horrible, because they will not truly fill us up.
What can help when we are feeling this way? Here are some helpful hints:
Know that you won’t die from feeling empty
Although you don’t like feeling this way, nothing catastrophic will happen to you. Even though the situation is tough, you will get through it.
Feeling empty signals something you need
Use this feeling as a way of putting yourself on notice that there is something you need now that you are not getting. Perhap you should take more time for yourself – do something that’s fun or relaxing, meditate or spend time with loved ones.
Realize there are cycles to everything
Things change, people come and go—loss is a part of life. It is okay to grieve the loss. Grief is a part of life, but it is not all of life. New people will present themselves, even if you are missing people who have moved on.
Be your own good mother
Don’t judge yourself for being this way. It simply is what is. If you have children, or even if you don’t, imagine what you would tell them if they came to you and shared what they were feeling.
Learn new ways to give to yourself
If we depend on other people to give us what we need, we will always be wanting. If you need more quiet time, take a walk through a lovely garden or park and read a chapter of your favorite book or simply enjoy the scenery. If you need more fun, call up and friend and do something silly—go skating, take in a movie—whatever you’ll enjoy.
