How to Take Care of Yourself When You Feel Unloved (You Matter)
Support and recognition from our loved ones is important. Whether it’s a pat on the back or a shoulder to cry on, these subtle signs show us that we’re surrounded by people who care. So how can we cope when we feel slighted by our friends, family or significant others don’t show up for us and we feel unloved?
When you feel unloved by friends:
No matter how hard you try at important, you never seem to get the attention you need from your friends. Maybe they don’t acknowledge your triumphs or they only talk about themselves. It’s natural to yearn for recognition, but your happiness shouldn’t rely on their acknowledgment. Take a look at why you feel unloved. Can it be because you’re expecting too much from the other person? “Focus on what you are doing instead of what’s being done to you,” says Dr. Loretta Breuning, an expert on mammal behavior. By giving yourself credit on a daily basis, the sting of neglect seems to diminish. If you feel comfortable, talk with them about what you’re feeling and see if you can reach a compromise. After all, if they’re your true friends, they will care about you and want you to feel good.
When you feel unloved by family:
You’ve been with your family for a long time and they’re supposed to be supportive of you. But not all families are like that. When you’re with them and you feel unloved, take a moment to pause and see what’s really going on. Have you been in this situation with that parent/sibling before, perhaps when you were a child? With this awareness, you are more apt to work through the negative emotions. You may feel like speaking up, so do it. If these feelings of unworthiness are very strong, you may want to seek help from a counselor or therapist.
When you feel unloved by your partner:
They’re supposed to be your biggest fan, but maybe they’re not acting that way. A bond with a partner is different from any other. When feelings come up, be candid and talk about what’s going on. Give an example of when you feel they’re not showing up for you. Offer some things you could do together that might be uplifting as a possible solution. This is one small way to build a stronger bond between the two of you.
Our community’s recommendations:
1. “I pamper myself, read a book, give myself a home spa day, I pray and meditate, get some fresh air…I try to center myself and show myself love.”- Heather
2. “Volunteer.”- Teri
3. “I write down my feelings, compose a poem out of it, make a few people read it so they can feel it by words I couldn’t speak. The feeling of being unloved is not uncommon these days so one must always give time for self love.”- Simran
4. “Go and take a walk at the beach, alone, reevaluate. Scream get all of the negative feelings off my chest. Clear my system.”- Kay
5. “[Eat] crab legs and white wine while watching movies.”- Chantel