Everyone is looking for genuine love in a relationship, that is why when someone cheats on you it is the worst feeling ever. To avoid heartbreak, it is best to know how to spot a cheater before they do it. These are signs to be cautious of when starting a new relationship or if you are already in one. Knowing these signs will help you avoid cheaters so you can eventually find a person who will not break your heart.
They Are Always Unavailable and Make Vague Excuses
If your new partner tends to be unavailable a lot and tries to avoid telling you where they have been or what they are up to, it can be a sign that they could be a cheater. “Unexpected gaps in communication or being offline is going to raise a lot of questions about the intentions of this partner,” says Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences of UMass Amherst. It is important to consider if their job allows them to check in on you, but cheaters will leave you out of the loop even after they’re off work. Do not make excuses for them either, confront them and tell them how you feel about their actions. If they are vague and don’t respond genuinely, it can be a sign that they have cheater tendencies.
Are Overly Protective of Their Phone
If your partner is overly protective of their phone, it can be a sign that they don’t trust you and don’t want you to see what is on it. This is something that most cheaters tend to do. “If you notice a change in phone habits, like suddenly on silent all the time,” it is not a good sign, says Marina Sbrochi, IPPY award-winning author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life. Not leaving it in a commonplace can tell you about what the person is used to doing in past relationships. It can be a sign of distrust, which is not something to have in a relationship.
Sudden Mood Swings
They can either be the nicest person, bringing you gifts, or someone who wants to pick a fight for everything you do. These sudden changes in mood can be a sign that they are a cheater. Whitbourne suggests watching out for a partner to be too much one way or the other. Starting fights can be an excuse for you to start thinking about a breakup, which can be something that they want if they are cheating. If they are used to cheating in relationships, their switch in mood is a trait that is continuous with the secretive actions they tend to do.
They Are Private About Their Personal Life
If your partner does not want to share more about their personal life with you, it can mean that they want to create a boundary with you if they do end up cheating on you. “Your partner doesn’t want you to see their private activity, and therefore is purposefully excluding you from a vital portion of their lives,” says Susan Winter, New York City-based relationship expert. They prefer to keep these personal details to themselves to be more in control of their position in the relationship.
They Are Negative Communicators
A relationship with poor communication is not a good foundation for something healthy. If you are the one who is consistently asking for reassurance and to resolve problems and they don’t want to communicate, it can be due to them being a cheater. According to Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D., a 2008 study found that couples that suffer from marital infidelity experience more problematic communication before marriage, such as less positive interaction and more negative and invalidating interaction. Cheaters are poor communicators, so be sure that your partner is kind when talking, even in a disagreement. If they want you to yell, your anger at them can become an excuse for them to cheat on you.
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