I Should Have Said It: How to stand up for yourself in the moment

• Helene Lerner


• 4 May 2016

You are sitting with a group of people, you know the answer but you hold back.

You are with your friends and you are really pissed off, but you don’t say anything.

You are with your significant other, and you fear if you tell him the truth, you will hurt him “big time”…

Do any of these sound familiar? Have you kicked yourself for acting “nicely” when you didn’t want to, and not saying what was really on your mind?

Here are some ways to get clear in the moment, and SAY what you really mean.

1. Think of the price you pay if you don’t. It may seem like the easy way out now, but it isn’t. When you “stuff” things down, you are not a happy camper.

2. The other person gets away with it. If you don’t assert yourself, people will take advantage of you. Not only will this affect you in the future, but think of all the other people they may prey upon.

3. You “grow” self-respect when you stand up for yourself. Even if you are shaky as you are telling the truth, in the end, you gain more confidence to do it again.