Whether she was raised to be independent, it comes to her naturally, or she was forced into it, an independent woman is used to being on her own. When she starts a new relationship, her potential partner might not know how to get close to her. If she has been single for a long period of time or hasn’t had many serious relationships, it might be difficult for her to let her guard down and allow someone else to take some control. Here is what she wants her partner to know so that they can understand her needs:
I won’t always ask for help, even if I need it
I’m used to doing things on my own; it’s become second nature, so I might not ask for help. This doesn’t mean I don’t want, or even need, help, it simply didn’t cross my mind to bring it up. If you see that I’m struggling with something, mentally, physically, or emotionally, offer your assistance. I’ll be grateful that you noticed my needs and cared enough to help. I might refuse, but even if I do, know that I appreciate the thought.
I need my space
If I’ve seen you every day for the last week or two and have barely been home, I might decline your next offer to hang out. It’s not because I don’t enjoy spending time with you, I just have to rejuvenate or spend time with other friends. Don’t be offended if I want some alone time. If you feel like I’m pulling away from you, bring it up in conversation. It will give us both a chance to air out any concerns.
I might not need you, but I do want you
I put my bookcases and coffee table together–with my power screwdriver. I balance my own checkbook and manage my monthly budget. I plan my meals and shop for groceries by myself. I don’t need a knight in shining armor to come to my rescue. However, I genuinely want to be with you and enjoy your company. You might want to feel needed, but to me, feeling wanted is much more special. I’m not looking for someone to complete me. I’m with you because I want to share my life with you.
It might take me some time to open up
I don’t always trust people. If I’m going to make a commitment to someone, I want to know that I can truly trust them. I might hold back at first, but please don’t push me. I will let you in when I’m ready.
We’re not in competition
If I get a promotion, you’ll be one of the first people to know about it. I hope that you’ll be just as excited as I am. If you get a promotion, or are thinking about starting your own business or looking for another job, I will support you 100 percent. And I want you to do the same for me. We both work hard to get what we want, but we don’t have to do it alone.
