Actions speak louder than words, of course, but we can’t diminish the weight that some words may carry. If you’re involved in a new relationship or are still on the dating scene, heed these five phrases your potential life partner should never utter (aside from profanities, which are a given).
“Stop being so dramatic”
If he makes a big deal about you making a “big deal” out of everything, kick him to the curb. Someone who values you should be a bit more receptive to your needs and concerns, and try to alleviate them in any way he can. Automatically dismissing what you say or not taking your opinions seriously is a red flag that is sure to cause turbulence in your relationship.
“You always/never…”
These are fighting words that are sure to spark the heat in any argument. It puts the blame entirely on you while they take no responsibility for any conflicts. Not only is it hurtful (and most likely untrue) but it doesn’t encourage you to evaluate your behavior or try to see things from their perspective. In fact, it will almost always put you on the defensive. Even if it’s an exaggeration, it shouldn’t be used. Period.
“If you loved me, you would…”
This phrase more or less indicates bribery, which could very well snowball into manipulation if it hasn’t already. No partner should ever make you feel guilty about anything, let alone use love as a weapon to do so. If they have concerns about the relationship, it’s important to simply communicate them (not pin them on you).
“You’re just like/nothing like my ex”
Although there are rare moments where we may compare our exes to our current partners, it should never be something we express with the other. That’s not to say that they should hide their feelings, but some things are better left unsaid. No good will ever come from voicing these comparisons – even if it’s a benign one. Either scenario may indicate that your partner may still have lingering thoughts about their former partners, showing that they haven’t fully gained closure or moved on from that relationship.
“Shut up”
We all say things we don’t mean sometimes in the heat of the moment, but this is just plain rude and condescending. Any partner who is quick to say these words is not someone you want to keep around. It’s a clear message that they don’t want to hear what you have to say, or that your thoughts don’t matter to them. A good partner should open you up not shut you out.
