When I was a teenager, I had a crush on this girl in school. She was tall, pretty and had flowing blond hair, and people treated her like the school celebrity. One day, I got the courage to ask her if she was enjoying a book we were both reading…
Jim Sliney, Jr
Writer/Editor
Jim Sliney, Jr is a freelance writer/editor and a student at Columbia University where he majors in Creative Writing. He is a Registered Medical Assistant which he leverages to write educational and advocative articles for patients with rare and under-served diseases. Jim volunteers for G-PACT.org where he serves on the board of directors and as Newsletter Editor. He is a native of the Bronx with strong country roots and, like most writers, is working on a novel.”
Entries Jim Sliney, Jr
One summer, my wife and I were driving up the New England coast. To embrace the experience, I purchased some oysters, a lemon and some ice. The problem was that I didn’t have a tool to open the oysters with. Readers, men are like oysters, you need to use some…
If you don’t want to be the person who makes someone feel like they don’t add value to you, then pay attention to these five things that people often take for granted. A sincere expression of thanks Growing up, how much did you take for granted that there would be…
For starters, what does it mean to be “deep?” This question, posed to some bright minds on Quora, resulted in answers like this: a deep person does not accept things at surface value. They explore the layers behind ideas, motivations, causes and consequences. So what don’t men understand about deep…
Your man, like you, lives two lives – the one out in the open that everyone can see and the one in his head. Here are 10 things he might really want from you, but won’t ask. Make a grand gesture of your affection To ask for it would seem…
It feels good to have the stability and intimacy of a well-established relationship. Knowing you’ll come home to comfort, affection and respect that you can count on makes you feel more complete. But comfort isn’t exactly exciting, and men (and women) still crave excitement. So, women, what really stimulates him?…
The sensual bond between two people usually starts strong and gradually fades. It’s human nature. But when you first notice that your partner is not as interested in physical contact, it’s natural to wonder why. Here are some reasons, other than the natural aging of a relationship, that might be…
Heterosexual men find women to be very attractive – but not all the time. Believe it or not, there are plenty of ways that a woman can “turn off” a man (but that’s a different article). Let’s talk here about the things that men find irresistible in virtually all women.…
First of all, it’s important to say that most men, usually, are thrilled about falling in love with someone. No man can deny the magical feeling of completeness and wonder that is love. OK, now that we’ve said that, let’s really talk. He still has scars from last time It…
It’s no myth that there are certain things that a woman can do that will bypass a man’s rational brain and talk right to his inner caveman. As members of a polite and progressive society, we are raised (or should be raised) to treat each other neutrally. But we are…
You’re in love! You’re in lust! Both of you are like two parts of a well-oiled machine! Why not promise to be together forever? STOP RIGHT THERE! There are many more parts to a successful, long-term, committed relationship than you can sense so early on. Here are five things you…
There she is, curled up on the floor, as vulnerable and hurt as you have ever seen her. You are her mate/sibling/parent/friend and you feel compelled to help her – your heart is breaking. But it’s hard to know what to do. DO NOT make this about you The…
Family is supposed to provide a safe space where we can be ourselves. Sadly, it isn’t always safe. You may have a family member/s who intentionally humiliates you in public, constantly corrects you, accuses you of being too sensitive or limits your freedom by restricting your access to money and…
When the special bond you have with someone begins to weaken, you may start to feel a sense of loss for the closeness you once had. Whether you are in a friendly relationship or a romantic one, here are some things to do that might be able to renew that…
Intimacy is one of those words that can be defined several ways. For the purposes of this article I’m talking about an emotional closeness and comfort, not anything sexual. Intimacy is something humans crave, and like most things men and women may achieve it differently. Here’s the male perspective. Intimacy…
It’s difficult to imagine being positive when you’ve just had your heart broken, but there are more and less destructive ways to cope with that soul-wrenching hurt. Here are some productive, positive things you can do to cope until the storm passes. It’s not you, it’s them Sounds cliché, but…
Steve is nervous because the girl he has been seeing has been dropping hints that it is time to DTR (“define the relationship”). He asks his older friend Jake, who has been married for 10 years, “How do I know if I’m ready to commit”? This is the advice Jake…
The MayoClinic.org defines depression as “a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble…
Cheating. Stepping out. Infidelity. Being unfaithful. There are a lot of ways to say someone has gone outside of their relationship for sex or romantic satisfaction. Cheating is more complicated than lust and impulse control because people have internal struggles and don’t always know how to be honest with themselves…
Grief – a deep and poignant distress caused by, or as if by, suffering death or loss. I grieved in 2014. I had hundreds of people under my care—dozens of coworkers, some I had gotten to know over more than a decade and some I considered friends. I had projects…
A strong woman does not settle for mediocre love and commitment. She knows she deserves and can do better. So if you love a strong woman, here are some things to keep in mind. She says what she means and means what she says In other parts of your life,…
Some folks are just miserable. And unfortunately, nothing you do or say can snap them out of it. Even though your heart is in the right place, you can’t be responsible for pulling them out of their bad mood. Here are habits of people who may be stuck in Miseryville.…
It’s no surprise that the majority of communication between humans takes place without words. Consider this: things that cannot talk communicate all the time. For example, your dog cannot talk but she lets you know what she wants and how she feels with amazing clarity. Human communication is a lot…
If you’re reading this article, you might be curious about how a woman needs to come across in order to please a man. Firstly, that’s not what this article is about and secondly, it’s 2017 not 1917 – no one should have to change just to make someone else happy.…
I stood by my father’s hospital bed as my mother and siblings cried. My father was unconscious – tubes and hospital things sticking out of him, as well as stains from tape and chemicals that cleaned his skin. Seeing a loved one helpless makes you feel small and vulnerable, exposed…
This is a hard topic. We all know of, or have been, in a relationship that couldn’t go the distance. Why do marriages fail? I think it’s because we are forgetting how to be happy, good-natured and selfless within our fast-paced world. We are programmed to want We want. We…
Whitney Houston asked a great question: “How do I know if he really loves me?” This one is pretty easy. He’s there even when you’re gross It doesn’t matter if you just woke up and you have Godzilla breath or if your hair looks like two spiders got into a…
Modern humans are easily distracted. Considering the amount of entertainment, advertising and social media we live with, it comes as no surprise. Our phones alert us all day and night. Writers have to shorten sentences and paragraphs to keep people’s attention. Then, there’s the particular lack of focus when men…
Psychologists find that adversity breeds resilience, and as philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche famously said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” So if you find yourself in a bad relationship, have courage; you may come out stronger because of it. Once you emerge from that difficult relationship, you will…
Surprisingly, men deal with breakups very similarly to how women deal with breakups. Heartbreak hurts deeply. Methods for dealing with that hurt are also very similar: - They get depressed - They binge-eat - They throw themselves into the gym - They vent to their friends - They throw themselves…
You might think that men don’t talk about their feelings very much. But if your man was a car and you could open the hood to take a look inside, here are some things you might find. Insecurity Males grow up feeling a lot of pressure to be good husbands, good…
This discussion has to begin first by clearing up a misunderstanding. What is an independent woman? That’s a woman who is confident, self-motivated, who takes responsibility for her actions and never blames the rest of the world for her mistakes or her downfalls. An independent woman IS NOT bossy, bitchy…
PMS makes women irrational Men are not subjected to the kind of hormonal fluctuations that women are, therefore, it is very difficult to understand or empathize with the hormonal changes that cause PMS. Mood changes in particular are largely misunderstood. Food cravings, cramping and breast tenderness would make anyone more…
Communication between men and women isn’t easy. One of the reasons for that is that men aren’t really taught to accept and share their feelings openly. Here are some things that you might find helpful to know about the man in your life that he might not have explained well.…
Men are strange creatures sometimes – especially to women. We play different, we fight different, and some of the things we do that hurt or offend you, we don’t even know we’re doing them. How is that possible? Of course this is a generalization, and everyone is different, but here’s…
Don’t panic! We’re not talking about profanity here. But on that note, as a blanket rule regarding profanity, every man should talk to every woman with the same respect and decency that he would want others to speak to his mother, wife or daughter. Make of that what you will.…
Apart from a short excursion across the country on my own, I’ve always lived with women. Despite all the experience, there are things about women that I think I’ll never understand. When I sat down to write this article, so many questions came to mind that I didn’t know where…
Men might not always be easy to read. Did you know that he often feels inadequate, like nothing he does is good enough for you and the family? It’s true. Here are some things to look for and some ways you can help him feel more confident. You are his…
When men don’t want to be with women anymore, often we don’t know what to do about it. So if he’s done with you, why does he hold on? Why is he keeping you from moving on? Let’s explore. He's a coward If he doesn’t really want you anymore, he…
Things some people believe are real: unicorns, jackalopes, El Chupacabra, the timeless gentleman. Good news – one of these is actually real. Here’s how you can spot them. He honors you Honor is such an old concept that you may not even know what it means. To honor someone is to…
Once a relationship has started there is a tendency to want to settle into it. I grew up thinking women wanted to settle in more than men did, but that wasn’t true. That might be something men and women have in common but that doesn’t mean the standards for staying…
The classy woman, “the lady,” is not to be underestimated or taken lightly. She is a person of great compassion and self-worth, and it is a rare man who has the honor of her affection. Here are just some of the signs that you are in the presence of a…
Why do we get tired? Most animals and plants have sleep/wake cycles. We wake up, we have a certain amount of energy, and that energy slowly depletes until we get tired enough that we need to sleep and recharge. There is also another mechanism that helps us maintain a sleep/wake…
Men are strange creatures sometimes – especially to women. We play differently, we fight differently and we hurt or offend you in ways we don’t even know. How is that possible? Let’s discuss: Talking too little or infrequently Maybe you’re chatting with him via text, email, Snapchat, phone or…
Have you been together for more than a month? That’s a great start. Maybe you’re starting to think that there’s something worth cultivating in this relationship. Well, here are some secrets from couples who’ve lasted for years that you might find helpful. Problems happen We all want things to be…
Maybe he likes you. That’s nice. You know what else is nice? Vanilla ice cream. What you want is for him to be over-the-moon, out-of-control crazy about you! Here is what that might look like: 1. He’ll drive you anywhere, whenever you ask – any excuse to be…
TO RESPECT WOMEN Studies have found that toddlers, young boys in particular, are more likely to listen to their fathers than their mothers when it comes to being disciplined. This supports a dynamic where women are taken less seriously than men. It is vital that young boys learn to take…
Can men and women be just friends? Short answer – yes. Long answer … You never see her If he goes out of his way to make sure you two don’t bump into each other, that’s a bad sign. He’s worried about you observing how close they really are. When you…
Relationships are like plants. When they are teeny tiny, they are vulnerable to many things that can kill them. It’s not until they are full grown that they become strong and durable. In the “sprout” phase, here are some mistakes you may be making that you’re not even aware of.…
She’s outside the restaurant with her friends. He and his best friend are just arriving. She and her friends have just finished dinner and are waiting for their car to be brought up by the valet. Something about her sends electricity through his heart. She isn’t the loudest voice, nor…
First of all, I’d like to promote a trend. When I write to people I often close my emails or texts with “(((hugs)))” – the more brackets the bigger the hug. Use it. Pass it on. I found this article from U.S. News and World Report on The Health Benefits…
Don’t panic! We’re not talking about profanity here. But on that note, as a blanket rule regarding profanity, every man should talk to every woman with the same respect and decency that he would want others to speak to his mother, wife or daughter. Make of that what you will.…
I’ve been married for 30 years. When we were teenagers, I didn’t know much of anything-- including how to pick a mate. So I can say with certainty despite my cluelessness, I got lucky. The luckiest. I’ve learned a lot from our relationship and from watching others fail, so I…
10. FLEAS! If you are dating someone who can give you fleas, then I’m going to go out on a limb and say you make bad decisions. 9. AN EXCUSE TO GO SHOPPING Your mate can buy his or her own pants or lunch or model airplane (they’re for grown-ups…
Our culture comfortably says that men are not in touch with their feelings - that they are distant and withhold love. But there is another side to the story. “I’ve never loved anyone like this before, my sweet potato” In the mind of a man there exists a hopeless romantic.…
"I'm fine” You probably do this. I do. Anytime anyone answers with “I’m fine,” they are either just making polite conversation or they are dealing with something more complex. Listen to the tone: If it sounds like a sigh, it probably means, “Ask me more questions.” If it sounds sharp…
You might think that financial security is not in the cards for you. Just when you think you’re getting ahead, some unexpected charge, fee or event sets you back. Well, according to some financial authorities, certain habits, if adopted, just might keep a bit more of your hard earned money…
What happens in your relationship is between you and your partner. When you start bringing other people into it, what’s the first thing that happens? People take sides. There may not even be a problem, but it's human nature. Though you can’t keep your relationship a secret either. I mean,…
It's not just an emotional shift. You cried, stayed in bed for days and listened to sad songs. You felt like the world had turned upside down. Our beautiful, sensitive minds become our worst enemy. But did you know your body also changes when your heart breaks? Hormones change Love…
You’re starting to get that feeling that maybe you guys could really make it as a couple. He loves you, you love him and there are fireworks when you kiss. But is that enough? Here are five signs that he’s got the right stuff to make a good husband. HE…
The concept behind acupressure is that the contact through firm, steady pressure from your hands will signal the body to activate its self-healing. Some imbalances or blockages in the body can be corrected by acupressure. One of which that acupressure can address is stress. THE INNER GATE Position: Palm…
Being a people pleaser doesn’t sound so bad, does it? I mean, you make it a priority that the people around you get what they want, right? Well the problem, as it turns out, is that the people pleaser puts everyone else’s needs in front of their own. Kind of…
When we talk about relationships, the conversation always comes back to trust. I might have said that love is the most important thing, but we can have trust without love--we can't have love without trust. I'm not down on relationships. Quite the opposite, I think humans are social creatures and…
There is no real way for me to keep a straight face when I say men don’t think about sex as often as you might think. I’ve read articles that say men think about sex every seven seconds, that men think about sex more than women, and that women think…
Some people would rather smile while they stick a knife in your back than actually tell you how they feel. This might stem from a fear of confrontation, but it results in the classic “passive-aggressive” behavior. Generally, our society does not find it acceptable to be outwardly aggressive towards others,…
I worked with her years ago. Our jobs were stressful - caring for patients before, during, and after high-risk medical procedures. At the end of long, difficult days I was spent - used up. She, however, seemed to have a reserve of smiles and energy that would perk up at…
Maybe your best friend grew up feeling just… a lotta, lotta things. When her parents would fight she’d want to run and hide, she hated crowds, and the idea of having to share her feelings out loud was simply too much to bare. Society isn’t gentle and nature isn’t kind, so…
Unexpected stresses afflict us routinely, and then there are those we seem to inflict on ourselves. When we are trapped between the calm control we crave and the panicking uncertainty that stress brings, it creates a sort of pressure. Athletes and business leaders thrive on that pressure. Firefighters and military…
The phone rings. It's your doctor. The nurse said you'd get the results in a couple of weeks but it's only been two days! Immediately your breathing changes, you feel flush in your face, you rear back away from the phone. What is happening? When we experience stress, it impacts…
My wife and I recently celebrated 30 years together. By no means do I think we have everything figured out, but we’ve learned a lot from all those years. Here is some of what we, and other couples, have to say about how to make it this far. 1. Give…
There are negative behaviors that creep into relationships and can turn into poison. Did you just have a hiccup, or did you just get a glimpse at a future problem? Look out for these negative habits that put strain on relationships. Fighting in Public Couples fight sometimes. It happens. It…
When my grandmother developed Alzheimer’s Disease, my mother took on the role of caregiver. She was still my mom, and mom to my two siblings, she was a wife, and she worked full time. At some point, she hired a caregiver to come in and help. Why? She realized she…
There’s probably someone in your life who acts like an entitled jerk. It’s time to draw the line and stop making excuses for them. The social contract Once the threat of being killed by the plague or being eaten by wolves was dealt with, we were able to start building…
Maybe he really likes you. Then why isn’t he taking your relationship to the next level? He may want to, he may be ready, but what’s stopping him? Here are clues that he’s ready and reasons why he might not be showing them. You start meeting his family If he wants…
“I’ll hide behind a smile and understanding eyes, and I’ll tell you things that you already know so you can say ‘I really identify with you, so much’… You want to know why? Cuz I’m a liar” – Henry Rollins Narcissism is when someone sees the world in relation to…
“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to destroy it.” – Warren Buffett If there was a guarantee that a person would always do right by us, act in our best interest, and never do us harm, there would be no need for TRUST because there…
He’s out for the night with the fellas. You’re out for the night with your gals. You and your girls may discuss your men, but what are the guys talking about to each other about their women? The answer may surprise you. First of all, I’m talking about men, not…
We grow up controlled by our parents. We get to school and are controlled by our principals. When you start a job you are controlled by your supervisor. Being a functioning member of society seems to involve giving up a lot of control to others. There are times when controllers…
I’m not so sure these are secrets, but they are well researched, and some were surprising to me, so buckle up and be open to what may be new ideas. Happy parents make happy kids Studies have shown that unhappy parents tend to have unhappy children. The same studies also…
“Karma” is the Sanskrit word for “action.” The law of Karma is very much like the law of cause and effect – whatever a person shares with the universe will eventually come back to that person. It is a concept that crosses many religions including Christianity - “forgive and you…
Highly sensitive people experience the world a bit differently than everyone else. Let’s explore that here. “I sense a great disturbance in the force” Though it can feel like a curse being able to sense how other people are feeling, there is advantage in it too. Sensitive people can sense…
Communication, it’s the key to any relationship, we all know this, so why do we shy away from talking about certain things? I’m sure women have certain things they don’t like to talk about, but here are some conversations men want to have but are afraid to. The first one…
Alcoholism: the continued excessive or compulsive consumption of alcoholic beverages. Alcoholism is a chronic disease which means it doesn’t go away on its own. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, in 2015, 15.1 million American adults had Alcohol Use Disorder (the medical term for alcoholism, or…
People lie, cheat, steal, and deceive. Some people do it a lot. Can you trust someone who routinely twists and reshapes the truth? Well, that is up to you, but here are some things to consider if you feel like you may have given your trust to a liar. Lots…
I’m sound asleep, dreaming of warm sun on my skin when a mosquito flies into my ear. ACKKK!!!! I jump out of bed and whack myself in ear 4 or 5 times. That mosquito is like some of the intrusive people in my life. The Interrogator I just buckled into…
We all feel insecure about some things. Men aren’t special in that regard. Generally speaking, my wife has a different set of insecurities than I do, and that’s not unusual because insecurities are very personal. But this is an article about men and written with the traditional male psyche in…
You are single. All your friends are in relationships, or they have kids, or both. They’re a clique and it leaves you feeling like you’re on the outside, doing something wrong. But guess what? You might be doing better than you think. No compromise When you are in a relationship…
Can you imagine what it is like to be truly alone? It is nearly impossible. Our world is so interconnected that physical people or the ripples of their actions leave us with hardly any way to be alone. Imagine a place or moment where you are not in the direct…
There are certain movies that speak to the male sensibilities in a special way. While a “chick flick” can be moving, they rarely have the key to a man’s emotional vault. I’ve seen lists of other movies, and they’re pretty accurate, but for me, these 5 just soften me up…
My wife is a confident woman. She can hold her own in a conversation or at a party and I’m constantly honored that this powerful woman chooses me as her mate and friend every day. Here’s why. She has layers Like a slowly blossoming flower, there is always more to…
Constitution A confident woman has thick skin and isn’t easily offended, and when she is offended, she’s strong enough to laugh it off or kick some ass, whichever she chooses. I like to see myself this way, so I always admire it as a trait in others. Positive attitude She…
In Norse myths there is a great wolf called Skoll who chases after the sun every day. In the Norse version of the end of time (an event called Ragnarok) Skoll finally catches and devours the sun. In everyday life many of us are chased by Skoll, but we call…
Men are simple, yet complicated. The roles of men and women in society have blurred a lot in a relatively short period of time. How are men being taught now versus then? Who are their role models? Are they strong, vulnerable or both? I don’t think there is any one…
My grandfather – he means so much to me. He died nearly ten years ago but I still idolize him. His life was hard. He left home at 16 and became a merchant marine. Once he was a husband and father, he traveled nearly 2 hours each way to work…
Things have been going well. The two of you get along better than you expected. You’ve had several successful dates. You guys cuddle while watching TV. But what now? Is this as good as it gets? Here are a few reliable signs that it might be time to take your…
You are newly out of a relationship, you’re hurting and you don’t like it. Someone comes along who can fill that void, and that’s all you really want right now. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? First off, what is a rebound relationship? A rebound relationship is…
The rise of the alpha female has been feared by men since man first created the wheel. Whether you’re already an Alpha, or if you’re about to don your Supergirl-onesie for the first time, here are some things you do that make men sweat. Alphas challenge! Most men are not…
Not sure how to get through to us all the time? Here are some things we want you to say to us (meaning them would be nice). 1. Let’s start with the obvious one…“You’re sooo big” – We probably don’t believe you—it’s complicated—but it’s the thought that counts. 2. “You…
Things go wrong in relationships all the time. Sometimes it’s no one’s fault, but other times the problems could be traced back to one party or the other. To help you figure out where your relationship may have gone off the tracks, here are some things men do wrong in…
Pop Quiz: Is this a conversation between two men or two women? “Hey.” “Hey.” “You good?” “Yeah. You?” “Yup.” “Cool.” If you said “women”, you need to get out more. Men and women have vastly different communication styles, so what can you do to have better communication with a man?…
We men tend to wear a brave face, but you’d be surprised by the similarities between the sexes when it comes to insecurities in relationships. Body image issues I don’t know very many people who are completely fine with how they look. My legs are too this, my middle is…
How can you tell he’s really into you, maybe even in love with you? When a relationship is new it’s really hard to say. Everything is a first. But at some point the relationship begins to cure or curdle; how do you tell which? If your partner starts communicating less,…
I went canoeing with friends several years back. It was spring and the water was high and strong. As our canoes came around a bend in the river we saw rapids coming up. One of my friends totally freaked out and ended up tipping our canoe in his desperation to…
Mansplaining: “A word typically used to imply that the … speaker is overly condescending and/or has a different way of explaining because he happens to be a man and the other party a woman. “ – Urban Dictionary. I am sure you have been mansplained to. Mansplaining has always been…
Vitamins and supplements – there’s a lot of them out there. Probiotics, herbals, Eastern medicine; Vitamins from this source or that source. Here's the low-down about Vitamin D. 1. Helps your body aborb the calcium you eat - this is super important because we need calcium for lots of things 2.…
The experts in lie detection have studied real life examples and performed controlled studies. Put them all together and you find that it’s just not easy to tell if someone is lying. I heard once that if someone looks up and to the left when they’re talking they’re lying. But…
