Most people know the saying, “men are from Mars, women are from Venus”. When it comes to communication and attraction styles, it can feel like the gap is even wider. However, recent studies say the adage just isn’t true; men and women have similar desires and requirements for a romantic relationship. Here are three things that science has suggested men look for in a long-term relationship.
Displayed Interest
As Jane Austin once wrote, “There are few of us who are secure enough to be within love without proper encouragement.” Studies are suggesting that is particularly true among men. Two recent studies by psychologies John Gottman and Emily Esfahani, suggest that couples who respond to “bids for attention” from their partners have longer relationship longevity to those who don’t. In fact, Gottman’s research suggest that after six years, couples who had stayed together had a “turn towards” reaction to bids for attention from their partners about 87% of the time, while those who had divorced responded to bids around 33% of the time.
Enthusiasm
A 2011 study showed that men find women more attractive when they are displaying happiness, over any other emotion. (The study also showed that women are less attracted to a happy face on a man.) Beyond that, a study done on speed daters in 2016 found that men were twice as likely to become interested in a woman who used hand gestures while speaking or physically reacted to a conversation, rather than staying still.
Compatibility
A study by Gian Gonzaga, looking at matches on the dating site eHarmony, suggested that partners who have similar temperaments tend to get along better. But, the benefits of similarity doesn’t end there—similar value systems also make a person more attractive.
Sources:
https://www.apa.org/topics/personality/men-women-difference
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21604870/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27035937/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17605587/
