Are you shocked by the idea that men could possibly want something more than sex? It’s true. The idea made me confront my own stereotypes and beliefs fed by media messages such as “sex sells” and ” men want it more than anything on this earth.” It’s simply not true. The thing men want more than anything else is respect.
Research has shown that men would rather have their wives love them less than disrespect them. A survey conducted by Shaunti Feldhahn found that men want and need to be respected both privately and publicly. But what does respect look like for a man? One basic definition of respect is “a deep admiration for someone you hold in high regard and treat well.”
John Gray points out that men feel respected when they can be your hero. He also claims that holding someone in esteem and validating them not only shows respect, but also honors them and makes them feel safe with you. Simply put, Are you shocked by the idea that men could possibly want something more than sex? It’s true. The idea made me confront my own stereotypes and beliefs fed by media messages such as “sex sells” and ” men want it more than anything on this earth.” It’s simply not true. The thing men want more than anything else is respect.
Research has shown that men would rather have their wives love them less than disrespect them. A survey conducted by Shaunti Feldhahn found that men want and need to be respected both privately and publicly. But what does respect look like for a man? One basic definition of respect is “a deep admiration for someone you hold in high regard and treat well.”
John Gray points out that men feel respected when they can be your hero. He also claims that holding someone in esteem and validating them not only shows respect, but also honors them and makes them feel safe with you. Simply put, your man wants to hear about all the things he is doing “right” and all the ways he is making you happy. He feels very respected when you acknowledge him in front of friends and family, and you get extra bonus points too.
Mat Boggs offers the top 4 forms of respect:
Keep agreements – do what you promise to do
Listen to and acknowledge his communications
If you must offer constructive feedback, always do it in private
Celebrate him in public
In looking at this list of ways to respect your partner, it is clear they want what we want. If we want the same things, why do we often have such a hard time seeing it in the other person? It is not the substance that differs, but the form it takes. The real difference is the delivery, not the intention behind it.
– Adapted from Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate, Arielle Fordyour man wants to hear about all the things he is doing “right” and all the ways he is making you happy. He feels very respected when you acknowledge him in front of friends and family, and you get extra bonus points too.
Mat Boggs offers the top 4 forms of respect:
Keep agreements – do what you promise to do
Listen to and acknowledge his communications
If you must offer constructive feedback, always do it in private
Celebrate him in public
In looking at this list of ways to respect your partner, it is clear they want what we want. If we want the same things, why do we often have such a hard time seeing it in the other person? It is not the substance that differs, but the form it takes. The real difference is the delivery, not the intention behind it.
– Adapted from Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate, Arielle Ford
